Step One...

What follows is the beginning of the process (much more to come) of what I have personally learned and am still learning about effecting lasting change in our lives. Along this path I have found many great teachers. One that I feel like I should mention (again) because I do reference her work quite a bit is Byron Katie. Please check out her “work” if you haven’t.

I know I’ve mentioned this in earlier blogs but I wanted to reiterate a couple points about energy. We have two qualities of acting energy present within us, either it is building up our system or it is in the process of dismantling it.  How that energy is working in our lives is dependent on what we are thinking because this energy is stored in every cell of our bodies. The condition and integrity of our cells is likewise effected as being supported or dismantled, healthy or ill. The condition of our reality is effected the same way.  Pain is proof that there has been a violation of our energy system. It’s our feedback mechanism that tells us something is wrong and needs to be addressed. Unfortunately, in our culture too quickly do we seek ways to shut off the feedback mechanism before we can learn from the problem. The problem doesn’t go away, the symptoms are just masked for awhile. It would be like having a fire in your house and shutting off  all the smoke alarms thinking that’ll stop the fire. The alarms may be off (so your not being warned) but the fire is alive and well. If we are in pain we are in error. Think of it as an energetic fire alarm. There is a call for inquiry. So as we work in the upcoming weeks to dismantle our memes and any energy that is causing upset remember that these opportunities are the way to growth. Dismantling our memes require us to shift our beliefs and shift our energy from being trapped to being free. Because knowing that you can change your pain changes the way you walk through you life.

“When you realize that every stressful moment you experience is a gift that points you to your own freedom, life becomes very kind.”
~ Byron Katie

Who are you without you memes? Exactly who you are….

Bringing your memes into the light

• Challenge your memes

Ask “Is it true?” Three simple words that have tremendous power. Is that thought your having, that belief that you have so embraced, is it even true? “My back pain will never get better” Do you know that? Even if doctors have told you that it won’t can you be sure that is won’t? “My parents will never accept me?” Is that true? Have they really never accepted you? Not once?  “Life is unfair” Is it always? “I will be punished if I’m not good”. What ever story you are believing in question it’s validity. Look at your list of memes and simply ask if that belief that you believe is even true.
But, you may ask, what about the things that are true? What if you have evidence? For example,  “I've always been overweight.“ That‘s possibly true (although I doubt when you were born you were overweight but we'll go with it). The scale says it and I know it. Sometimes we need to go a little deeper. Try “I’m overweight and that means___?“ Maybe you tell yourself it means you are “lazy, a failure, unattractive, or never get things right,” Now question the validity of those things. Question the story you tell yourself. At the core our memes that break down our vital energy are always false. No exceptions. When we question them and realize we are choosing to believe a lie we can find freedom in letting go of our stories. 

• What is the wisdom behind what you are doing but want to change?

And I guarantee there is a good reason you are doing it. Say you have insomnia and want to let it go. What is the history of it. Did it start when you were a child? Maybe you came from a chaotic home where nighttime meant fighting and your fear was falling asleep meant  that something terrible would happen and you wouldn‘t be awake to take car of it. You learned to be like a sentry, always on guard. And it may have been necessary for a means of survival. The pattern of energy is set in motion with the belief in that story. Now, no longer a child, you still find yourself struggling to sleep. What needs to be examined is the fear we are holding in our bodies about it. If you want to change the fact that you can’t sleep find the energetic wisdom behind it and then question if you need it anymore. Realize you can create a healing field where you can let that part of you go. You no longer need to be a sentry, it’s not true for you anymore (if it ever was).

Here’s another way this might show up. Have you noticed in our culture it is more acceptable to have a headache than to set a boundary? Let’s say you really don’t want to go out for dinner with a group of friends. You may really enjoy their company but just feel like having some time alone. What are the thoughts that come up “You gave your word so you have to go (held up to inquiry is it true? the truth is we are free to change our minds about anything at anytime), “If I say no my friends will all be angry with me” (really? are you sure?). So as you are having all this spinning energy based on judgment and doubt and recrimination which are all just shades of fear your head starts to hurt. Oh no, another migraine! So you call your friends and bow out of dinner with a very real migraine. They may even show you special attention and concern because you are ill which reinforces your feedback loop and habitual response to not say no the next time, rather than tell the truth. What did you gain from the headache? Not having to say no, be honest, be assertive, and set a boundary. The problem is now you have a very real headache. We know that pain in a violation of our energy field. Remember we are energy and energy has to go somewhere. It is either dismantling or building up. But so often we value those things that violate our energy system and believe them as correct. Illness often speaks for us when we  should really speak for ourselves. When we can ascertain the pay off  behind our illness, beliefs, and discontent we find what we should really be doing to allow our energy to flow in a healthy way. Often we manifest dis-ease in our bodies or lives to give us a pass on being authentic, and perhaps challenging an expectation or belief of how we “should“ be.  Really our dis-ease is  an alarm to wake us to  what we actually need to do to get well. In this case the remedy would be to just say no thank you, and then notice, challenge,  and forgive (undo) any feelings of guilt we may feel. Then we can  move on- without a migraine.


So the first step to dismantling our stories and effecting change in our lives is to begin to question our deeply held beliefs (memes) that create our very stories. We need to start noticing how our thoughts give rise to our lives and realizing that they are actually not true. But know this. Our thoughts are actually not the problem. In fact,  thoughts are very much like the wind or the ocean  as they come and go and there really is no stopping them (give it a try if you don’t believe me). What is the problem is we believe our thoughts as if they were true, then we find evidence that makes them stronger, and they become the stories we define ourselves by. Then they become our reality. If you want change in your life you need to stop believing your own story.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”
- Joseph Campbell