Thursday, December 30, 2010

Happy New Year and a Giveaway!

It's a new year which for me symbolizes new beginnings and opportunities. As I look back at last year I am so amazed how much life has changed for me both personally and professionally. I absolutely love the gift of meeting amazing people and aiding them on their paths. It is such an inspiration to witness the courage, the amazing stories of hope, the miraculous synchronisities and healing. It challenges me to be more authentic and honest in my own life.

In this spirit of the new year January is a great time to get a reading. Now is the perfect time to get a forecast reading to better understand the energies at play in the upcoming year, the opportunities as well as the possible pitfalls or to just get some clarity about a specific issue. There are some significant changes to the system this year and next. Lot's of new beginnings and getting rid of the old.

So as a special thanks to all of you I am offering and hour long reading for $50 (that's $20 off the regular price) for the whole month of January. Just let me know you saw it on the blog and you'll get the discounted price. We can meet easily over the phone or skype and as always I'll include a recording of the session. To set up a time you can contact me at, (843) 870-7455, or via my website.

Also don't forget the Food and Feelings e course is starting January 10th. It's a perfect way to start the new Year. So be sure to claim your space today!

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Right Use of Affirmation

I’ve been doing a ton of writing lately putting the finishing touches on my e course which is so packed full of information I am having a hard time fitting it into just six week. Anyway, I was writing about the idea of “positive thinking” and “affirmation” the other day . I love and embrace the use of affirmations. Just not in the way you probably think. So, I thought I’d share it here.

We have already spoken about the fact that everything is energy (blog about that). In our minds we store all the energetic resonances of all thoughts, experiences, feelings, beliefs we have ever had. All this information takes the forms of electrical impressions in our brain cells. We have a way of “cataloging” these impressions into file folders of related information. Like giant webs of electrical impressions that have cohesive themes and organization, and can also overlap into other folders. Now, these “files” are filled with information -thoughts, stories, history, and feelings that we have gathered from our experiences (some might even argue that we even come in with some impressions already downloaded). At the very top of the file top are those memories and thoughts that we are more aware of. These tend to be more positive in nature.

A good example of this is nostalgia. Which by definition is the desire to return in thought or in form to a former time in one's life, and a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time. Think back to a time in your life. Have you noticed how even the “bad” times don’t seem so bad? When we think back to a time we often do not, "remember" or are aware of what we didn’t like. That’s because our conscious awareness accesses the top of the folder first, and thus, the more “positive” memories.

I am constantly reminded of this fact when I think about my former home, Maui. I moved away from there five years ago and for very good reasons. Whenever I “miss it” especially when it’s freezing outside (like now) I think about the beautiful beaches, the warmth, and my family and friends. I easily forget about the reasons that caused me to make the move in the first place. That’s nostalgia. And we all do it. It’s why the grass in always greener in another person’s yard, or in my case, island.

Yep, we tend to hide or try to ignore those painful energetic impressions. They are pushed down into our file folders. Toward the bottom our of our conscious awareness. This is why denial is actually possible. We can push this energetic goo really deep. The important thing to remember is this- Those impressions may be hidden but they are very much still present and they are very much still creators of our reality. That’s why I always reiterate the point, don’t look at what you are thinking, look at what is showing up in your life.That is a better reflection of what you are really thinking and believe. You could be “thinking” positive, wonderful things really, but if that is not what is showing up for you there is a hidden energy at work. No matter how you direct your surface thoughts to “be happy” if you don’t access and change the beliefs at the bottom of the folder it’s just smoke and mirrors.

Another important point to remember is that painful or fearful thoughts tend to have the most energetic frequency, the most emotional energy. Of course they do right? These are our fears, our traumas, our judgments- all the thoughts we don’t want to own. In past posts I spoke about the laws of energy, resonance. Think about what that means in terms of our experience. Basically, when two energies are in contact which do you think get’s amplified or animated? The one with stronger or weaker energy? Right. The thoughts and beliefs with the most “energy” is amplified. Thus, where do you think you are creating your reality from? The top of the file or the bottom? That is why we have been working so hard to bring these unconscious thoughts and beliefs into the light. So we can clear our files of that goo energy affecting our reality. Every issue in life starts as mind energy. No exceptions. What is less than must always be examined. Our task is to locate it and remove it so it no longer shapes the reality you don’t want.

So how do affirmations fit into the equation?
Normally affirmations are a positive statement about something we are not positive about. Say if we are struggling with weight the affirmation might be “I am light and free” or some such variation. Now every time we say that affirmation we trigger the “thin” file folder in our minds. What do you think someone that has an issue with weight has in their file folder labeled “thin”? What thoughts and beliefs are deeply hidden in that most likely rather thick file? What thoughts do we fire off unconsciously every time we say that affirmation? The fear, the doubt, the trauma, the judgments stored in that file. Remember if the issue is showing up in your life it’s in your mind somewhere. So the positive affirmation “I am light and free” is actually a way of asserting and strengthening what you don’t want. It’s putting a saddle on a goat and pretending it’s a horse. It’s not gonna work.

That’s why affirmations are a bit off the mark in our present understanding. I hear it all the time “just think positive” . Well, that is true but not in the way that it is implied. We naturally think positive when we have cleared our files of the stuff that isn’t positive. If positive is what’s left in our file than there’s no other way to think right?

So the correct way to use affirmations are as a catalyst for change. We use them to flush out the hidden parts in our files. An affirmation is in fact a positive thought around an and issue that you have a negative one. But it’s much more than just changing the thought. It is an opportunity to look inward at subconscious thoughts and bring them into the light. It is not something you simply pretend or wish is true. Use it to bring up emotion that you don’t believe. Clean out the file cabinets in charge of creating our reality and our reality changes. If you have no scary, judgmental, dis empowered thoughts and beliefs hidden in your folder on “thin” you’ll have no blocks to creating a reality that'll reflect it.

How do we do that?
Here is a brief description. For those taking the course we’ll be going even more in depth but here’s a taste to get you started.

Proper use of affirmation exercise
Take a page and separate into two columns. In the left write the affirmation and in the right everything that comes up in response. By the way, it’s critical you either write it down or do it with another person. We are dealing with mind energy with lot’s of emotion. Our natural response is to go unconscious with it, it’s what we’ve done with these thoughts up until now. By writing it down we stay present and conscious. So write an affirmation about an issue in your life you would like to be different

For example. “I am light in mind and body”
What comes up when you say/think that thought? If it’s a proper affirmation your first thought will be “B.S, I am huge and enormous. The opposite of light and free. I am huge and trapped”
If you get that kind of emotion then that’s the one you want to use because there’s obviously some “stuff” in that file to bring up. Allow the emotions to arise and the memories to just emerge. Just write. Write about when you feel that way. Write the whole scenario, and burn off the emotion.
Now we use the information that we just wrote to create another affirmation, another layer of undoing.

Our example "I am light and free”
Response BS. I am not light and free. I am fat and angry. I remember being judged about the way I looked from the time I can remember. I was always told how overweight I was as a child by my parents. They never accepted me for who I was”

Now…new affirmation When I was a child I was totally accepted”

Now Check in.

What’s your mind energy about that? Write it out again. Bringing up all the goo you can.

Perhaps your response to your new affirmation is “I was not allowed to do what I wanted to do. And it really hurt. I wasn't allowed to be who I wanted to be. Everything was held to a specific standard of which I felt I never fit. I was not allowed to be imperfect”

So we create another affirmation from that “I was and am allowed to be perfect just the way I am”

and we see what comes up.

And another. When you get towards the end, where you feel that you have little emotion left. Pick that affirmation and apply into your life. Use it. Say it.

You’ll find that your affirmation that started about the size of your body may not seem to be about the size of your body at all. Your final affirmation may be something like “I need only impress myself”. But make no mistake about it, it is about your weight. When you stop having an emotional charge about it. When your file is clear, your affirmation will become a creative statement and you’ll create it. The goal of an affirmation is to seek the never enough energies within ourselves. When we bring it to light we become master healers. Bringing to light anything less than love melts away.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Introducing a New e-program for January!!!!

The thing about food or weight issues is that they have very little to do with food at all. What that means is that you cannot solve an issue with food by controlling, manipulating, or altering the food. It may seem to “work” for a little while but unless you get to the issues behind the problem it’s like painting over rotten wood. It may look better but underneath the rot is actually growing worse. It’s why diets don’t work. Why we gain the weight back or fall back into destructive cycles. It’s why as a nation we keep getting larger. You can’t solve a food problem with food because food is really not the problem. To really clear the food issue from our lives we have to look at the deeper causes, the insecurities, the fear, the comfort, the alleviation of boredom - all the stuff food fills for us other than true hunger. Somewhere, somehow we have linked food to feelings in way that has elevated it to savior , comforter, calmer, friend, or lover. Somewhere along the journey we have given food power it doesn’t inherently posses. At the same time we have lost our connection with ourselves, our inner radiant expression, and our natural hunger cues that is our birthright. In that sense, our relationship with food is really a mirror for our relationship with ourselves and the rest of our life We have swallowed our feelings to the point we are weighed down by them both physically and mentally and we feel trapped. Trapped because we have given our power away to something that seemingly has both the ability to soothe our hurts and enslave us. Like a very good friend that embraces us and then kicks us on their way out the door.

And for me in my food crazy times what was worse than any behavior with food, any issue with weight, was the despair, hatred, and loneliness I felt in my own skin. The disconnect and punishment I felt I deserved. As is the case in all obsessions there seems to be a vicious cycle of wanting to feel better and subsequent despair and self recrimination. This endless cycle drove me crazy- thinking about food, deciding, planning, and denying myself what I wanted, only to succumb at some point. I felt crazy. At some point I realized what I was doing wasn’t working. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and I wanted freedom. And I found it. My path of recovery spurred me to help others on their own journey and I have spent the greater part of the last 10 years doing just that. I was fortunate to work at Ai Pono Intensive Outpatient Recovery Center on Maui, Hawaii for five years as the head nutritional counselor and then in private practice. Here I was initiated into the real world of food recovery. Wherever the case was on the spectrum of severity there were common threads that I began to witness on the road to healing. There were the feelings being denied. There were the familiar feelings of judgment, punishment, and blame. There was the aching for freedom from the grip of the cycle of despair, frustration, and unworthiness. You may be reading this feeling the same way. Not knowing if there is a way out.

Let me be clear by saying there is absolutely a road to freedom. There is a way out. The way out is by going in. The following program is based on much of the work I have done with clients over the last 10 years as well as my own personal journey. This program is not another diet. We won’t be talking about calories, fat grams, exercise in the way you may be used to. I have no diet pills, shakes, or bars to sell you. This is not about managing food but uncovering the parts of you that believe you need to be managed. The parts of you that don’t trust yourself. The parts of you that seeks comfort, peace, love and is mistakenly using food to do it. But we are never going to find happiness, peace, or contentment by having thoughts of deprivation, self judgment, and lack. If you want to find your way back to love you have to study that. This program is about identifying the barriers you have erected, the errors in perception you have about yourself, the beliefs you wrongly perpetuate that keep you from the true expression of who you are.

"The purpose of life is not to be safe. It is to be open. To be dedicated to the truth, to the joy as it streams through your life. Because if you are not, then no matter what you have, you will always want more, you will be forever hungry. And if you are, than no matter what happens, you will one day discover that it is you who you have been hungering for. It has been you, not the food you eat, the clothes you buy, the people you love, the money you make. For lifetimes, for eons, for as long as it takes for a mountain to become a mountain, it has always been you. You are the feast. You." ~Geneen Roth

There is a language we can begin to decipher as we listen to our inner selves speaking to us, telling us what we must do to feel whole. And it is speaking through our relationship with food. Together we will find the blocks, the weight on your heart that echoes the weight on your body, that is keeping you from your natural hunger. We can shed our layers of pain, getting back in touch with our inner wisdom and innate guidance system. Because our birthright is freedom and peace in our minds and our bodies. We are already perfect. We have just forgotten. Now it’s time to remember.

So I ask you…

What would you do if food were not an issue in your life? If you didn’t plan, deny, crave, and judge yourself around food?
What would you have time for?
What it would feel like to be free?

The Program..Food and Feelings Phase 1- Starting January 10th
This is a completely online 6 week course that you can complete on your own time and on your own terms. Every week there will be a main theme and everyday a bit of insight, a exercise, an affirmation etc. to help you go further into that weeks theme. Each week will build on itself as we go deeper into our process of healing. This course is private, confidential, and enlightening. No matter where you fall on the spectrum of eating or body image issues you can find healing.

The Details
  • I will use a mixture of media to reveal our lessons. Video, Audio, and writing. All will be sent directly to you via email.
  • The Private chat room- All members will have access to process through emotions, share personal insights and reflections, give feedback on others, ask questions, and generally support each other in the process of recovery. I will also be commenting, answering questions, and giving feedback as necessary throughout the day.
  • Private sessions- Included in the full session are 4 private sessions with me in person, via skype or phone to help you go deeper into your personal process. I will also be available by email or additional private sessions as needed.

There are three choices of participation depending on what works best for you. Click here to find out more information under the heading "food and feelings"

As always please feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns.
I look forward to working with you.

“The more you identify with the light of your being, the lighter you will feel. You will materialize a lighter body when you have a more light filled mind. Fear literally weighs you down, but love enlightens you”~ Marianne Williamson

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

New Projects and Inspiration

I am planning some exciting new projects in the upcoming year and you, my blog fans, will be the first to know. I will be sharing some of these new developments next week so stay tuned...

These last few weeks have been about inspiration for me. Furiously imagining, listening in, and planning. Just trying to allow what is asking for expression to emerge. And I love the process...well mostly. I should correct that. I love the process when I am not getting in my own way. And boy can I get in my own way sometimes. Talking myself out of inspiration as my inner critic has a field day saying things like  "That won't work? No one will be interested in that? What a stupid idea. You are so weird". And often I believe it. I have so many times shut down my passion, my inner knowing, my enthusiasm with this voice of doubt or fear or even this story of responsibility I tell about myself.

How often do we all do that? Maybe we fear failing. Maybe we fear ridicule. Maybe we fear taking a risk. For whatever reason  we shut down that part of us that is aching for expression. And looking back at my own life I know how often I did (do) that. So strong was my desire to fit it. To fulfill a role a certain standard. To become what I "thought" I should. But who's life was I living? Not mine that's for sure. Often times life has a way of waking us up to the lessons we need. And maybe not with a gentle caress on the shoulder or with a soft whisper of "wake up sleepy head". No, we tend to not hear those. In my case I got very good at ignoring the sutble hints. No, often times we need a hard shove pushing us right off the bed shouting at us "Are you awake yet?"

"Don't die with your music still in you"
~Wayne Dyer

So live it. If something isn't working for you, change it. If you have that nagging feeling that there is more out there for you, seek it. If you know what you have to do but fear it, do it anyway. If there is a passion, a calling, a choice on the path in front of you explore it.

Because  when I am not getting in my own way it is truly miraculous. Inspiration is breathing life into an idea and giving form to creativity. It is our divinely inspired knowing of what to do next. What we must do or life feels somehow wrong. When time slows down and the edges of the world  seem to come in focus. Light changes. Time seems to slow. Clarity emerges. When inspired I often  feel an energetic hum that permeates my body, like a river finding it's path to the ocean, it must find expression. Even if that means I'm writing at 3:00 in the morning, again. And I'm not remotely tired.

So in this blog perhaps a bit shorter than some is all about inspiration. Something I am attempting to come to terms with in all it's splendor and terror. I urge you to do the same.

"A ship is safe in harbor-but that is not  what ships are for"~John Shedd