The Practice of Parenting...

Before I begin to expound  upon the relevance of astrology and parenting I suppose I should give a bit of background regarding my parenting “philosophy” in general. Or at least I‘ll make the attempt because I find that the one constant about my parenting practice is that it is ever changing in response to the ever changing beings, aka children, in my life. Please know that I, like my children, am a work in progress and this journey of parenting is teaching me daily (maybe by the minute) more about myself and gifting me with ways I am challenged to grow.

I don’t see much of a difference between we adults and children, and from a soul perspective there is none. It doesn’t matter how you understand the nature of soul. Paint any picture of creation that resonates for you. What’s true is this, we all come into this life with a divine essence that makes us uniquely who we are.  Our spiritual personality emerges (if allowed) and asks quite simply for us to live in accordance with that nature. The soul  is our natural aptitude and orientation. It’s the part that can not be changed no matter if it fits in with society, or family, or friends. We can try to ignore it, fake it, demand it be different but it is part of us that always re-emerges pointing us like a beacon back to our divinity. There is a point when we must align with our spiritual nature no matter what. It is a sad day when a person ( no matter how many years on this planet) is not allowed to be who they are.

“Too many children live with the feeling that they are not accepted for who they are, that somehow, they are “disappointing” their parents or not meeting their expectations, that they don’t “measure” up. How many parents spend their time focusing on the ways in which their child is “too this” or “too that” or “not enough of that?” …When has parental disapproval, in the form of shaming, humiliating, or with holding, ever been a positive influence on a child’s behavior? It might result in obedience: but at what cost to the child, and to the adult the child becomes?”- Myla and Jon Kabat- Zinn, from the amazing book EveryDay Blessings

So as I parent I am ever mindful for ways I can support my children to become who they are and not who I think they should be and for that I need all the help I can get. When we marry astrology and parenting this is the terrain we are walking. This is where we parents can get guidance about the soul’s language emerging as gifts, passions, and intentions, in our children. We can observe their path as different than our path and honor it as such. We can be ever mindful of the emerging symbiotic relationship as we learn from one another. There is no randomness as to why you have the children you do- from their perspective or ours. This point is ever clearer as we look at the interplay between birth charts. We can gain understanding of strange (from our perspective) phobias, behaviors, and tendencies they may exhibit and understand why they trigger us in ways we never anticipated.

So how does this look in the real world? Let me give you an example of how I’ve used astrology as a tool for a deeper understanding of my children and to help in my parenting practice. One of my sons is incredibly driven to learn, to get all the answers right, to be super responsible. He came in that way.  He puts a lot of pressure on himself and he is hard on himself. He’s serious and more mature than some kids his own age. He often would rather converse with adults on play dates. His chart reveals so clearly his default comfort zone (SN 10th  wide Pluto conjunction Sag. Nn 5th ). Where he’s being called to go is a new direction on his path.  To learn about fun, being lighter, creative, having the freedom to change his mind, and exploring  more ways of being human. In few words to “lighten up”. His fear of  letting go of control is real however and he will react out of fear when his “control” is threatened. Good for me as a parent to know because I can hold the space for him to  challenging what he thinks is real but is really old news in a karmic sense. To help him realize nothing bad will happen if he lets it go. His comfort zone is being the responsible, productive, one but it’s also where he get’s stagnant. To challenge him to grow is to be aware where he needs to focus this expansion. And when he’s brooding and going into dark places (12 house cap. Sun, moon,  and stellium of planets) as he does,   I allow him to knowing that’s just his way (my sun and moon in Pisces helps).  He has had fears at night, been convinced he has seen spirits in his room, and “lights around people (with 7 bodies in his 12th no wonder right?). To deny him his “truth’ is to change who he is and was meant to be. By understanding him and his soul’s nature I can encourage him to “try using more color when he draws” and to take an art class (something he may not do on his own). I can help him understand his intuitive nature in a way that he can trust it, develop it if he’s interested (and he is). I can support him but also challenge him in ways that allow him to develop the courage to grow.



“In rising to this challenge (mindful parenting) , we may not only come to do what is best or our children; we may also uncover an come to know ,perhaps for the first time, what is deepest and best in ourselves.” -Myla and Jon Kabat- Zinn, from the amazing book EveryDay Blessings

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